Oct 15
What If I'm yearning for someone too deep?
I have fallen for someone but she is Christian
I have fallen too deep that it feels like I'm choking when I think of her
It haunts me
She now doesn't like me
I don't know how to do with this Love clouding my judgement
All I'm able to do is pray to Allah to make her my Naseeb
If she's good for me grant her and if she's bad then make her good for me and grant her Hidayat
I'm too afraid to ask Allah to make me forget her
It feels like asking a part of me to be strupped away
I've been crying to Allah every single moment and begging him to make it happen
She is also the girl that indirectly made me closer to Allah
That me wanting her is bringing me closer to Allah
I am a mess right now
And I don't know how long I can last
I ask Allah to ease my burden and I trust Allah
But directly asking Allah to make her go away from my heart is too scary
I love this emotions
It's the first I've felt this way for someone
It is indeed so very beautiful
But the longing comes with hardships that my heart can't find the exit to even though there exists one
For this reason I'm also not being able to focus on Anything
Not class or tests
Or my life
I can't sleep or eat
I'm crying myself to sleep every night
But I'm trying to good in hopes it will make Allah accept my prayers
I try to help people or donate as Much as I can
She has turned my toward good but that good may not be beside her
Pending