Aug 13
Need help struggling with everything
Assalamualaikum sheikh, "A few years ago, I wanted to get admitted to my favorite university so badly. I tried so hard, studied my absolute best, and prayed constantly—including throughout the entire month of Ramadan, even right before Iftar while sitting at the table waiting for the Adhan. However, I didn’t get what I prayed for. I ended up enrolling in another university and completed my graduation there.A few years later, in 2025—which was my final year of graduation—I tried my best again and started studying for the IELTS exam because I desperately wanted to go abroad. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to take it. Every time I felt prepared and confident, I would fall sick or my academic exams would start, so I was never able to book a test date.After my final exams ended on December 31, 2025, I planned to restart my IELTS preparation. But then I saw the news that the IELTS exam had become computer-based in my country, and I didn't know how to type. At that point, I lost all hope. To try to forget my dream, I even sold all of my IELTS books a few months ago and started searching for jobs locally.That phase only lasted for a month. While I stayed busy with my new routine, my dream of going abroad returned even more intensely last month. I cry often. I even taught myself how to type so that I could take the computer-based IELTS exam and fulfill my dream, and I have started praying deeply again.Yet, I don't know why, but I feel so scared to sit down, study, and prepare. I want to study again, but I just freeze up. I am still terrified of the 'what if'—what if it doesn't happen again? Still, from the core of my heart, I want to study abroad, and I pray every day for a miracle. I want my dream to come true so badly that I can't even focus on anything else. I am struggling with a lot of anxiety and depression over this.I know that Allah has accepted so many of my Duas before, Alhamdulillah, but I want this Dua to be accepted so desperately."What should I do now ??
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