Jun 15
I can’t decide what to do
Salam everyone, I’m 17 and I’m in a situation that’s been bothering me and I wanted some advice.
I’m dating a girl who is a revert, and ever since we started talking and being together, I’ve had this constant feeling of guilt like what I’m doing is haram. It’s not just a passing thought it’s always in the back of my mind, and I feel it even when I’m alone.
At the same time, I also keep thinking that maybe Allah put her in my life for a reason, like for us to get to know each other or for me to care about her. I understand that having feelings is a normal human thing, but I still feel conflicted because I know I’m not the most consistent Muslim. I don’t pray regularly, I am ashamed to even say this but I watch corn and I listen to music, but I also try to do good things, I fear Allah, and I do feel regret and guilt when I think about my actions. And tbh I haven’t prayed consistently in 5 years.
What makes it harder is that even if I decide I should step away and try to focus on improving my relationship with Allah and doing things in a more halal way, the thought of leaving her and having that conversation honestly hurts a lot and feels really heavy emotionally.
I guess I’m just trying to understand how to deal with this mix of guilt, feelings, and confusion while also trying to do what’s right in Islam. And one more thing I just feel like everytime I try to come back try to become regular at doing stuff that brings me closer to Allah, my heart doesn’t feel anything like I don’t feel peace at it and this scares me.
Pending